the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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