I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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