I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
