what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I fill condoms, not promises.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
