Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
