I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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