Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
