I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
