whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
