my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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