we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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