So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
