You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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