I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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