He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
