Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
