Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
