She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
