One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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