i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
