i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
