She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
