There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
