I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
