I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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