Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
