i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
