Im at strip club and am horny
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize