This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
