You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
