hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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