Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
