I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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