12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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