K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize