I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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