i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
