I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
