He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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