Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
