somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
