But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
