similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
