great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
