that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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