I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
