Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
