I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
