Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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