I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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