He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
