I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
