I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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