somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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