i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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