new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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