in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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