You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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