I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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