we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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