i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
